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In A Heartbeat(10)

By:Hilary Storm

“You don’t know what you are talking about. It’s not like I have a drug problem. I just wanted to be able to think straight and not feel like my life is crashing all around me.”

I can’t believe she is taking pills while carrying my baby. What am I saying? She doesn’t even want the baby. Is it even my baby?

“Is the baby even mine?” I ask.


“I am taking you home to your mom. You need help. I can’t deal with you.”

“You are over reacting. I am not going anywhere with you.” Nicole looks at me in disgust and starts walking toward her car. I run to catch up with her.

“We are not finished with our conversation, Nicole.” She gets in her car and slams the door closed locking it immediately. She starts the car and drives off like a bat out of hell.

Taron and I run to his truck and take off after her. We don’t catch up with her before she reaches Springfield. “I assume she is going home. Take me there.”

She is not there when we arrive at her apartment. “What would you like me to do Talon?” Taron said, waiting patiently for my response.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. I am lost trying to come up with a plan. Where would she go? Who is her pill guy that demands sex for payment? I don’t even know where to start looking for someone like that. “I guess I wait here for her.”

“I am here with you brother. I wish we knew where the hell she went.” We wait for two hours until she pulls up in her car. She rams her car up over the curb so hard that her front tires go over it and almost onto the sidewalk. I run over to her car as she opens the door.

“Where the fuck did you go Nicole?” She stumbles out of her car and starts making her way into her apartment. “Did you take more pills?” She keeps walking until she reaches the door. She begins fumbling with her keys. She tries three different keys before I yank the key ring from her. I open the door. “Just go. I don’t want you near me.” She says in this slurring low voice, barely able to keep her eyes open. I know that voice and that look.

“Taron call 911.” I scream at him. I turn to look in her direction and notice her going into the bathroom and closing the door. I rush over to the door only to find that she locked it. I find it ironic she couldn’t even unlock the other door, yet she can so quickly lock me out of the bathroom. I start beating on the door. “Open the door Nicole.”

She doesn’t reply. “OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I KICK IT DOWN.” I hear her flush the toilet and then hear water running. She must be washing her hands. I decide I am tired of waiting and kick down her bathroom door. That is when I see the empty bottle on the counter right next to the sink. She can’t even stand on her own. She can’t open her eyes. I can’t believe we are back to this point again.

I grab her and yank her towards the toilet and put my finger down her throat. She gags, but doesn’t throw up. I keep doing it. Fuck. Come on. She is passing out and going lifeless. Taron grabs her body to hold it up so that I can continue to try to get her to lose some of the pills. Finally, we hear the ambulance. I keep trying until the EMT’s take her from us. I can’t watch as they work on her. I walk outside to get air.

Taron stays with them, with her. I hear him tell the responders that she is pregnant. Not long after, they are bringing her out to the ambulance. Taron tells me to get in the truck. It is as though I can’t function without being told what to do. I am just watching life happen and I can’t speak or think. He calls Nicole’s mom and tells her about what happened and tells her to come to the hospital. These are things I should be thinking of, but I am not.

When we arrive at the hospital, we are forced to stay in a waiting room. I feel numb all over. I should be pissed and yelling at the nurse to let me back there with her, with my baby. Taron keeps asking the nurse if there is an update on Nicole or if we can go back there. I haven’t moved from my chair. Everything I care about is back there and I can’t move from this seat. It is as though the life has been sucked out of my body and I am just a shell consuming space. How could I fail my child so badly that I didn’t see this coming?

The doctor finally comes in and asks for Nicole’s family. Taron tells him that I am her fiancé. The doctor sits next to me and tells me that they had to pump Nicole’s stomach and that she is finally responding. She will be required to go to a rehabilitation clinic to get help with her addiction and suicide attempt. I haven’t said a word to the doctor. My eyes haven’t moved from the spot on the floor that I have been staring at for hours.