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Ssdei: Captive to the Dark(10)

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The tightening of his grin left me confused on his thoughts, but I took it as realization. After all, it was the way I felt knowing what our fathers had done. They were playing on our desires. Sick fucks.

We finished the meal in silence. It even continued as we walked back to the boat. The lack of conversation didn’t bother me. My thoughts were running wild and I couldn’t stop the visions of Jordan with his hand over my mouth and nose. I could still feel the lack of air and his fingers squeezing my nipple. The heaviness of my eyes was automatic as the all too familiar need to be dominated hit me.

My mind narrowed in on Jordan’s actions. He’d been shaking. That only told me that he had taken the risk by exposing the darkness within. What if he had been wrong? Had it been worth the risk? It was now clear where we both stood, so the only question was, where did we go from here? Would it continue with getting to know each other better, or would the two of us throw all caution to the wind and see just how good our chemistry truly was?

The yacht was empty as we came back on board. No trace that Charles and Bethany had made it back were evident, and knowing how those two loved to talk, I didn’t doubt they’d be gone for hours. They were in no rush, and I was starting to realize that the only reason I was here was for Jordan. My sister was so immersed in her husband we had yet to spend any time together. It hurt, but what did I expect? We were strangers, except for holidays. Even in my childhood she had never been home. Friends were plentiful, and if she wasn’t at one of their homes, she was at ballet, dance, or some other extracurricular activity.

“Go to your room.”

The command had me stopping just short of the sofa. My breath instantly quickened as I looked down at my toes sinking into the lush carpet. Did I want this? Shit. I knew I did. At least the sex, anyway. As for an actual relationship, there was no way I was ready to budge. A part of me wasn’t oblivious that continuing was a bad idea. I’d told him I was stopping with this lifestyle, but Jordan was taking charge, which was exactly what I craved. It was clear he wasn’t ready to let me give up what I needed.

The walls blurred as I became a zombie to my thoughts. Metal sounding in the far background lifted my fog and I turned around at the foot of my bed. Jordan pulled his belt free of his jeans and ripped open his shirt. Slowly, he began to cover the buckle in his palm, wrapping the length of the leather belt around it. What was he planning on doing, beating me with the loose end?

“Now, take off your dress.”

Fear should have been overwhelming me. Although the emotion was present, all I mostly felt was a thrill. “I can’t.”

Jordan had the belt around my throat and the front of my body slammed against the bed before I could process that he’d moved.

“Can’t. Or won’t?” The leather tightened. On reflex, I clawed at it, scratching my skin in the process. I half expected for him to rip the dress from me, but he didn’t. He was in complete control, and that somehow calmed me, even though I could barely catch my breath.

“Both.” My scratchy voice didn’t escape my notice. “Not until we go over some things.”

The belt instantly disappeared and my coughs filled the room. I turned around, leaning against the bed for support. “You can’t fuck me. At least, not…” Heat filled my neck where the leather had been and crept its way up my face. No matter how many times I’d said it, the words never got any easier. “I’m still a virgin.”

Jordan took a step back, dropping the belt to the floor. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I—“

“I said, virgin, not innocent. You can fuck my ass, just not my pussy. I’m saving myself for the person of my choosing.”

Panic faded from his face while he stared. “You scared me for a moment. Holy shit. I didn’t know what to think.”

The plaid shirt he wore billowed out at as he walked to his room, only to return seconds later. “Good. I wasn’t sure if I had anything with me. Believe it or not, I didn’t come here with the intention of something happening between us. I never imagined…” The condom in his hand caught my attention and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Jordan bit his lip while he looked at me. “This is the beginning of something great. I just know it.” The muscles in his stomach flexed as he got closer. It took everything I had to lift my gaze up to his. Even though he was like me in ways, this was different. When I had partners, they were strangers. I’d gotten to know this man. Not very well, but more than anyone I’d previously been with.

Fingers laced in my hair and he gripped tight, angling my face up. “This is right. It’s for the best.”

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